Every Town Has

A liar.

A sponger.

A smart Aleck.

A blatherskite.

Its richest man.

Some pretty girls.

A girl who giggles.

A weather profet.

A neighborhood feud.

Half a dozen lunatics.

A woman who tattles.

A man who knows it all.

One jacksonian Democrat.

More loafers than it needs.

Men who see every dog fight.

A boy who cuts up in church.

A few meddlesome old women.

A "thing" that stares at women.

A stock law that is not enforced.

A widower who is too gay for his age.

Some men who make remarks about women.

A preacher who thinks he ought to run the town.

A few who know how to run the affairs of the country.

A grown young man who laughs every time he says anything.

A girl who goes to the post-office every time the mail comes.

Men who had rather shed blood than be corrected in an error.

A legion of smart Alecks who can tell the editor how to run his paper.

Scores of men with the caboose of their trousers worn smooth as glass.

A man who grins when you talk and laughs out loud after he has said something.

All towns are blessed with the above to a greater or less extent. You can amuse yourself filling in the blanks for your town.

[Murfreesboro Index (Murfreesboro, NC) 24 Jan 1896]